I went missing!

 YES! I mysteriously went missing for two weeks from my current abode. With nothing but my vague statements, two letters received after I got back, and this blog post to show what went on. I was put in a shabby one room living quarters with with mysterious writing all over the walls and beds. I could not leave this room without supervision or the rest of the people stuck in a similar situation. I got three meals a day with almost no choice of what to eat. Worst of all, their was no regular dessert. There was little screens as well. Yes, from this information, there is only one possible conclusion, I was at sleep-away camp. I had a lot of fun. Their were activities, arts and crafts, storytelling, D&D, and other fun camp activities. I swam, and I ran. I even invented new versions of a game called mafia, including stuffia. I made friends*. I look forward to next year.

*and actually no enemies.

How to grow a language

 The weather is gustimple.

It has been a while since I posted, but last time I spoke of growing letters. S is the primary grower of food for L's the Letter Ladle. They grow fresh letters, ripe for consumption. Now, letter growing works a little different than it does in The Phantom Tollbooth (by Norton Juster)*. Whereas he has letters growing from trees, letters really grow from time and the rich soil of human minds. Many people, words, and even sentient letters, grow letters. S is but one of these farmers, working primarily for the Letter Ladle. In the last post, 1** placed a fake one*** in the battle field for X to defeat. They then ran through the fields in order to get to the main S house. This shows the extreme quality of the letters S makes. Enough to fool an extreme battler into thinking that an L is a one. For the letter growing process, you plant a period or some sort of random symbol in the mind. You then water the symbol with a need for communication and fertilize it with imagination. After that, you make sure it is exposed to the light of time. After some exposure to the time, the symbol will grow into a mighty letter. And that, is how to grow your very own language! Have fun!

* which is a book that you should read if you haven't already.

**Phew, I escaped X!

***A lowercase L.

13

 Today we are doing something special! Numbers will be battling instead of letters. A monument for the versus games! 1.X. |* The periods have been dropped... Wait, isn't 3** supposed to be here? Three may have taken a fall. I heard them say something about an unlucky battle or something. I'm filling in. Ah. Okay, let's begin! ...1...X... | One and X simultaneously use an ellipses swipe! ...1...X... | Oh, you don't like it? How about, The battlers stand among a field of many periods, many battles, many wins, many losses. They stand today to take on a new kind of battle, one that will change the course of battle history! ...1...X... | Oh, you didn't like that? Then how about, If these battlers don't do something soon, then the ninja will strikethrough them both. Like that! !-_=-_===_--_ X-=____=-=--___--= | A high speed chase ensues! One dons their exclamation point form, the exclamation point! X-___===_-=_=-_=-__=----= llll1llll | X rushes right past one as one takes cover in a field of L's. (More about growing letters next post) X------ l) One destroys the barrier! X---------------------One is down but the chaos continues as the announcer is strikethroughed. X is the winner! (Thank goodness we kept that official winners template safe.)

*As ever, the announcers are shielded to the action.

**I'm late! This is the announcers stand! I guess I'll just wait and watch the action from here. It's a shame I have to waste these good asterisk bombs.

My mom is forcing me...

 ...to post this. The weather is drearydrong.

As I said, my mom practically forced me to post this, they said, and I quote, "You haven't posted in a week! You should post something." SEE THAT! If that isn't child abuse, I don't know what is.* Whoah, that was a strange bunch of footnotes. But we ended it! Now back to the matter at hand. Is this unfair?*** And can we stop it?**** Well I don't want to, I'm having fun.*****

* Okay, I do  know what but that's not important to the current matter at hand, or keyboard, as it may be. Hmmmm. This is nice. I wonder why the footnote hasn't ended yet? Doo dee dooooo. Maybe something is wrong with footnote central command. ....................................................... I should say something so that your time isn't wasted by periods. I believe we can stop this if we include another**

** footnote. Okay, it worked, even if the last word got stuck in this footnote. Here, is central command!***

*** The place where all the footnotes pass through.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************@****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Aha! It seems someone has thrown an @ into the asterisks. We can dislodge it by connecting it to something else. @Solomonsperfectworld.blogspot.com. That works. Now let's see if we can end it.

**** Yes.

***** Yes we can.

****** So there.

V.S!

V.S. |* V and S prepare and drop down their periods, showing that they are ready to begin. V)----------S | S shoots V, but V puts of a parentheses shield. V is practicing for their next battle with A. \/\/\/V\/\/\/\/\/****{}*****S& | V uses an improved camoflauge and throws bombs while S shoots their own bombs from an ampersand bomb shooter. V

                                                    V

                                                    V

                                                    V

                                                    V

                                                    V

                                                 *{S}* | V drops their signature move, V-Bomb, onto S! V])} S... | V pulls a combo parentheses move that both blocks you and shoots an explosive blast at the opponent but S pulls a ellipses which slows down time so it takes longer for the opponent to get to you. V]) } | S S got into the barrier! They are disqualified from the match! It is a rousing victory for V! V's increased confidence may lead them to eventually defeat A!

*Barriers are used to protect the announcers.

*****BOOOOOM!

****KAPOW!

*{BOOOOOO

OOOOOOM!}*

ERROR!

You can not access this post due to error. Please stand by and listen to this calming elevator music while you wait. Doo do dooooo do do, doo do dooooo do do, doo do dooooo do do, doo do dooooooooo. Hmmmm, I should put in some ads. V.S! V)----------S |* S shoots V, but V puts of a parentheses shield. WHO WILL WIN? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON V.S! Okay, we got the post working again, so enjoy!

*Barriers are used to protect the announcers.

Attack of the Substitutes!

 This week, we have had a multitude of substitute teachers. In our own classroom, invading music, in the library, and who knows where else? Coincidence, or an uprising? Are they poising to attack us? It would be a most diabolical plan as they could strike from anywhere, any time. Posing as your normal teachers as the teachers stay away for longer and longer. Stay safe, and watch out for the substitutes.

The weather (a different kind)

 The uninteresting part of the weather is chisrstrasp.

Now, for the real weather. The tuesdaily front of school might not show up due to rising snowstorm pressure. We expect to see a rise in productivity in students now that the vacation storm has left our school. In my personal weather, piano practicing is only at a sprinkle. We hope that levels will rise to a good wind soon. In other news, a shower of new books has touched our household! The ninth Hilo, and Agents of S.U.I.T.. Confusion levels are also on the rise as I mix up the links to the two books I just told you about. Look at the other Hilo books and the Investigators series.

The weather

The weather today is flurecent. 

Whoops! I forgot the weather the last few days so I am making three words today. The other two are flumplerooft and blimbleshift.

Sleep Code 1

 oahgwlcvxohmhajklfmiyerioewudir787&*&&%&jalhdfnjhcflsierw789043rd;g'fd;gkkahfc dfkmcnalk fjgklmcjf hasjmfcd;fkajfkmd;fkjkjkkkdffferesjkkj hasjmfcd;fkajfkmd;fkjkjkkkdffferesjkkj hasjmfcd;fkajfkmd;fkjkjkkkdffferesjkkj)((___---+=+@sfjaksld;fj

HUH! I fell asleep on the keyboard. Hey, that looks kind of like a secret message. CREATED BY MY SUBCONSCIOUS CONSCIOUS CONSCIOUS. I believe that the part that repeats three times is telling us to rotate the words and perform a cross check and slide of the contents. The part at the end with the +=+ is making us show the repeated bits as one and then to nullify the results. The beginning and the numbers are the key to unlocking it. They show how far to move a long the second alphabet. You should use all the dashes to make sense of how far to go up. The parentheses are the containers. Alright, now to perform it. I am bleeblop bidum? Wait! I forgot the foot note! You can see from how it leads on to itself how you need to repeat the cipher again and again until it makes sense. On the footnote, not the overall code. The answer will tell us how to solve the overall cipher. It says... "y r u hr" on the first code, "what peanut butter 5" on the second, and "spin the palindrome" o the third. It means the 787 and the &*& at the beginning! This flips the piece to make the message, "This isn't a cipher you weirdo!" What a marvelous success! Now, our subconscious can send us messages at any time it wishes! I call this an extreme breakthrough. I've got to contact a scientist!

*ghdjksl;lskjfai fjjdshajsldfh*

A-Z rope up*

Hup! We are tying up the A-Z post. It keeps trying to get away though. We have managed to corner it in this post but we don't see it anywhere. We might have to give up and just let the alphabet run wild. Wait a minute...**

*We acknowledge that we might have done the order wrong. We accept that perhaps we should have done it, QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM. But it is to late now.

**...It's down here in the footnotes! It rearranged itself to try and trick us! Look up there! we see it hiding in the keyboard format. Lets get it!***

*** We managed to tie it up, using some different ropes then we normally would. 01234{ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ}56789****

****We hired the numbers to help secure it.

Z

 oinks and zither! The weather is fintallgy.

Z's report card. Similar to S and itself. Its sound is unmatched though. Mostly. Okay, okay. I goofed on S's report card. You happy! Z has full right to the sound it makes. I will apologize profusely to Z, replacing S with Z. Zorry, zorry, zorry, zorry, zorry, zorry, zorry. And no, I am not giving you a better grade for this. Your grade is still a D.

The letter ladle, A z is extremely salty. It does not go well with other letters most of the time. I enjoy eating it alone though. I think of it this way, it is one of the few letters that tastes better alone. Good for when you need to get pumped up. Heck, I eat this in my sleep. Literally. You lie down right next to some z's and you will chomp them down in your sleep.

A note of worship, ZZZZZZZZ. ALRIGHT! NOW THAT THAT SILLY BIT OF HONOR IS DONE, LETS GET PARTYING! Lets party ALL   NIGHT   LONG. We will spare no expense. We will empty the money out of every pocket we can find... IN THIS RELIGIOUS GROUP... to make the party possible. Who's with me? WE ARRRRE! Yeah!

Z's playground, Yeah its time to rap and its time to rhyme, it's time to tip me a dime. I'm just a performer on the street, but I know how to make a beat. I love roll and to rock and I'll give you a knock if you dare challenge me. I've beaten Y and X, so you know that you are next if you decide to challenge meeeee! Yeah I thought so. Yeah thought so. No one can challenge me! Y i'm done with rhyming and rap for the day, but if you want to chat please stay.

Y

 should we do this post? Because. The weather is icinkles.

Y's report card, Y is another math lover, but that is not the point. Y should really make up their mind at their semi-vowel position. If they take it full time, they should stop stealing I's sound. Its consonant sound is perfectly unique though. It's look is copied between itself and It looks like V-on-a-stick. I have decided that the grade will be a C.

Y's playground, Y should I do this? Is Nyone paying me? SRy, I love puns. I positively a door puns. What is your favorite plum? That came out Ron. Which pun do you like beast? I like the puns with Y name in them the vest. Hoo has any ideas about this. I'm going to have some crackers, Graham you guess what kind?

A note of warship, HMMMMM. Puns, puns, puns. I need some puns. Helloooo, fans. Y are you here? TO WORSHIP Y! Y, are you here. Yes, of coarse. Good. We are here with our god, to discuss the upcoming pun-off. I mean, we want to groin the upcoming pun-off. No, that's gross.*  We are ready to Seagan the upcoming pun-off. Not the breast but it works.

The letter ladle, The y comes in two different flavors. I and its own unique flavor. It taste squishy and it just pops out of your mouth if you're not careful. It tastes a bit salty and a bit lemony. You should note that it has (hiccup) side effects. Just kidding! It (hiccup) doesn't really have (hiccup) side effects... It didn't the last time I tried it! 

*As in, a dozen dozens.

X

 -actly. The weather is flowinker.

X’s report card, My report card? Hah! You must be joking! I am possibly the most terrible student this language has! I copy C, K, and S, I look the same uppercase and lowercase, I’m just not cut out for the language. I’m more of a math buff. I will fill in for any number. But they say I just make the problem harder when I go in. My favorite thing, is adventures. I’m always the first to the destination, I inspire millions everywhere to get up and come to me. That’s what I’m all about. The reason I got this job was because I could imagine, “If I was x what grade would I get?”

A note of worship, We did not expect to like this god so much when all the other temples (and the moat and sewer) kicked us out. We are ready to devote our every thought to you, oh master of our hearts. You know, when the other letters do this, I assume that they’re trying to wheedle a better grade out of me. But I think that one of you just has a crush on authority figures. That would be me!

X’s playground, 01010111 01101000 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 00100000 01101000 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 01101111 00100001 Aw man! It’s over already. I hate these stupid short recesses. Alright, I’ve got the griping done, so I can enjoy the rest of recess. 01011001 01100101 01100001 01101000 00100001

The letter ladle, I do not approve of X’s methods I think each letter should be looked at individually. An x is saw-paper and sand dust. I don’t like it one bit. It tastes like *shudder* a number! It’s not even very healthy. Although I suppose it would go with any other number if you liked that sort of thing. I say that this food can got to the numbers and stay there.

By the way, my grade is an F.

W

 hat am I going to write? The weather is sheeter.

W's report card, W is always trying to outshine V. They dress like two V's, they walk like two V's. They make a wiggly sound to outshine V's straight one. Their sound is unique though, I'll grant them that. I don't know what to give them, but since only their sound is off, I'll have to be content with a C.

The letter ladle, A w is quite watery. It sloshes in my mouth. It has a hint of salt but is otherwise a sour food. It is sometimes the texture of jello. It wiggles and wobbles. It is better than a V. W! Stop that! I'm trying to do a review! And you capitalized V. Dang it! I am very upset. Sure you are, now get out of my part of the post.

W's playground, Why is it called double u? Is it two of you? Is it's sound the bigger version of U? From now on, we call it double... V! Double-V is the newest name for W! It is W approved. Hey! I didn't agree to this. So maybe it isn't W approved. It is, but you should ask me first. Good idea! Is it approved. Huh? I already told you that. But I didn't ask, that's too expectant. AAAAARGH!.

A note of worship, Wwe pledge wwaledgence, to W, and their rein over us people. And to the wwater way, where we warship, one union, over our god*, invisible, with unity, and servants for all. We would like to begin the day with a less on throwing out intruders, and trash-talking V and their followers. THAT’S WHAT WE DO EVERY DAY! And? NOTHING, CONTINUE.

*W lives in the sewers

V

 ictory! I started the post! The weather is overpahling.

V's report card, V is an attentive student. They have a unique sound to be sure. They do, unfortunately share a form between uppercase and lower case and with A. This brings their grade down to a C. I am afraid I can not get those two to stop their petty rivalry. And neither can anyone else.

V's playground, Give it up A, it's time to duel!*            V VS (A | V rushes toward A and blocks with a quick Shield as A brings in a parentheses slash! V(A(A(A(A(A(A A pulls of the A-tack which shoots them forward toward the opponent! V is pushed back! ^V^^^^^^ A? A ready's their question club but only to find V's camouflage in full effect. 

                                                        V

                                                      V

                                                     V

                                                   V

                                                {A} | V drops a V-bomb on A and gets through the gap on their force-field. A_V | A does an under-swipe and V is left defenseless. A**[V | A has launched a footnote bomb at V but V blocked it just in time with a cyber block. HEY!*** I told you to stop fighting. Whelp, looks like time is up folks.**** Maybe there will be a winner next time.

A V! V note of worship! Never mention that bastard again! Sorry, my lord. But can we mention them... NO! ...to tell you that we caught one sneaking in and are going to sacrifice it to you. ... That is what I thought. Bring forth the A! /-\ That is all, my lord.

The letter ladle, So much action today! I don't think I can compete. I'll do my best though. V***** is one of those foods that is both sweet and salty.***** I like how it ripples on my tongue. Yet another***** addictive letter to try. VVVVVVV's***** are delicious, but they do tend to tickle you***** after a few dozen. Well? Did I bring enough action to the piece?

* Their is a barrier to prevent the announcer from being stuck in the battle.

** BOOOOOOM!

*** Someone else is speaking now

****The announcer is speaking again.

***** BOOM! CRACKOOM! WAPOW! ZANG!

U

 nanimous, u is so cheerful that we are making u the leader of the organization of cheerfulness. The weather is breezingo.

U! Note of worship, NOW! Let's begin. Ah! You are all finally here. Now let's begin. We love U, we would do anything for U. We would like to give U a round of applause. (clap clap clap) We will now sing the U song. YOOOOU AND ME BOTH OF US... AAAAAH! I've got to go now. We will see U in a minute.

U's playground, One minute later... U. Thank U for your time. Now it is time for UTube. =========== ================ Not the most stable tube to be sure. HEY U, YES U come on and see the best skate trick in the world GNIETAKS skating backwards, beat that. Check out my dance, BEAT BEAT BEAT BEAT WOOOOO! Ha Ha!

The letter ladle, A u is smooth and sweet. That's about it actually. It's a bit liquid but I like that. Guess theirs nothing to do but watch UTube. Oh well.

U's report card, Copying y's sound and o's sound. This little vowel is not off to a good start. It's upper and lowercase forms match. At least it has... uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh... I've got it! The uh sound. I think, since it's a vowel. I'l be nice just this once. I will give this letter a C.

T

 ired. The weather is tiring.

A note of worship, (yawn.) Let's put a T on the worshipping today. Just like the other... days.

The letter ladle, A t has a nice snap to it. It puts the top on the morning. It tastes salty and just a bit sour. I enjoy this letter for tea. I like to crack it into many pieces and taste each individually. Chew well, for this is a hard food to swallow.

T's report card, T is not terrible. Their (yawn) sound is quite nice. They are identical in shape between upper and lowercase however. And this (yawn) lowers their grade more. Oh forget it, I'll just give them a B and get it over with.

T's playground bedroom,egiurhll glsj,gzhns, whaAAAaaat? Sorry I was asleep. I just wanted to mention that, Ironically perhaps, T's favorite letter is ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

S

 o happy to be making a post. The weather is fadinjon.

The letter ladle, S is as personal friend of mine. I mean, a really good friend. An s, however, tastes sweet and smooth. I enjoy it slithering down my throat. It is almost a liquid food. It gives me a tingle from the top of my head, to the bottom of my toes. I much enjoy just sitting down and eating a whole carton. Now, I really must be going, S is asking for me.

S's playground*, The sssssssslides are amazing. The ssssssseesaws, supreme. Yes, IIIIII love this playground. It's just like a dream. Ba Bum Bum Bum Bum. Oh, I love to ssswing around and, IIIII love to climb. I could play all day on this mystery ride and, feeeeel no shame. I love this playground. With all of my heart. Iiiiit always gives me a start. Come on, L and join me, in this wonderful ride.

A note of worship*, We love you oh S. You are the song in our hearts. Oh god of flowery language, and the limelight of theaters parts. We want to give you, your new greatest fan. They even dress like you. And will be sure to give you a hand. PREEEESEEENTIIIIING, ~. We are sure that you will get along swell. Now that your new greatest worshipper is here. Now, it's showtime we fear.

S's report card, S does superbly! They push on bravely even when C steals their sound. They are unique from other letters even when they themselves fail to differentiate. Okay, I may have exaggerated with superb. That does not take away from their otherwise excellent performance. Their is only one grade for this star, a BeeeeeEEEEEE. Duh! Duh Duh Duh DUH!**

*To be read in song.

**sing everything as soon as the grade is given.

R

 easonable people don't make this noise, urjaisdjf**4$%%{}[[))#@ (and neither do most unreasonable ones). The weather is urjaisdjf**4$%%{}[[))#@ for lack of a better noise, I mean word.

 R's report card. I've got R spirit. R just rolls into school and gets moving. No visual similarities to any other letters or between its uppercase and lowercase, a completely unique and rolling sound, I just get carried away. I will go in the R spirit and say that their grade is an A!

The letter ladle, The r just rolls on to the mouth. I eat r after r after r after r... Whoops! I got carried away. The r is smooth, and its texture is so distinctive that it stays in your mouth. Its the same with the taste. It is sweet n' salty and it just sticks in your mouth after you're done. I would say that this is, overall, an energizing letter that makes me want to rrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn...

R's playground, ...nnnnnnnnnnn right into the playground. Zooooooom! I finish a lap. Hello by the way, I'm R. I'm here to show you a racing good time. Get your heart racing. I want to go......tell......you.....how... ...fast......I......am. See? I'm so fast that I can almost talk to you normally while running laps around the playground. Want to see real speed? I'll ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

A note of worship, ...OOOOOOOOOOOM OVER TO THE WORSHIP. Oh R, we all love you a lot. O. K. The talking bit is done now let's set up the sacrifice. Now! |-|_^_|-| O. K., that's done. Now move it people! It's time to run laps.

Q

 uestionable circumstances. The weather is flowundrum.

A note of worship, we do not question you oh, queen of the universe, but why can't you decide on the proper wardrobe for worship. We are afraid that followers are dropping out left and right. You need to make a decision fast. WE SHALL WEAR... THE SCHOOL UNIFORM OF THE QUESTIONING QUAIL. Thank you, your queenliness. We shall indeed wear the uniform of the royalty. IS THAT WHAT I SAID? I GUESS SO. Thank you for being so decisive, your queenliness.

The letter ladle, unless had with a u, this letter is quite bitter and unsatisfying. I do not like the dusty taste, as if someone had left it out for a long time and is just now bringing it out for tasting. I do not know what to say about this nasty food. With a u, however. the q gains a sweet flavor. It becomes squishy and smooth rather than hard and brittle. A much better dish indeed. If you only use a U.

Q's report card, I have a terrible report for Q. Alone Q copies the sound of K if it copies anything at all. When put with U, however. It gains a sound like a K and a W. Not the best but it isn't as bad as it's normal sound. Its uppercase is one of the most unique letters I have ever seen, but its lowercase is almost like a lowercase G. I must be strict here, and give Q an F.

Q's playground. It is a queer thing to have a Q. I Question everything about it. And the Q questions everything about me. Q: hello. I am Q. Who are you. What am I wearing. What should I be wearing. Would you like to worship me? (Darn it! Wrong personality.) Ummmmmmmmmm. Well, I, uh. I'll just go get my script. Or maybe i'll just play on the my playground quietly.

LMNO

 ??????? The weather is sort of... I dunno.

I feel kind of bad because this might be a letter and I left it out and did other stuff instead. I am doing it now though.

The letter ladle, Is this even real? It tastes sort of fake.

LMNO's playground, &^%$##$@!*&())))"':;{}[]|||||||\\//.

A note of worship, We worship nonexistent things. Like ourselves.

I refuse to give a grade to something that I have never heard of. THE GRADE IS Z+++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++

WE ARE CLOSING THIS DOWN DUE TO NONEXISTANCE.

P

osting on time! The weather is woulbloufe.

P's playground, I shall avoid the use of P. P. jokes*. Fine, just one P. P. joke. The paramedic got up too pee, but was afraid that they toilet would ask them to perform surgery. Oh, that was fun (even if it wasn't good) maybe just one more P. P. joke. The paramedic went to pee outside but they were afraid the bush would spike them and they'd have to do surgery on themselves. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Okay, just one more...

WE INTERRUPT THIS PLAYGROUND TO SAY THAT P. P. JOKES ARE GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE CONTINUED.

The letter ladle, A P is a punch in the mouth. It's a real kick of sour. It's not bad, but man it is shocking. The food is off with a quick snap. Like a cracker, but harder. I like how it explodes in your mouth, literally. You have to chew it carefully, or it will poke your throat. I would suggest P for paramedics, patients, and parents who have a headache. Maybe even (chuckle) paranoid paramedics...

WE INTERRUPT THIS TASTING TO SAY THAT P. P. JOKES ARE GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE CONTINUED.

A note of worship, We promise that their will be no P. P. jokes. We will worship to say that P is amazing, P is great, P will give you a pile of peaches on a slate. We would like to begin this meeting by discussing the bathroom problem. We have both a shortage of T. P.** and P. T.***. I think we should use bushes. But that isn't a p-word! It has pansies. Okay, it's a good place to go (chuckle) P P...

WE INTERRUPT THIS NOTE OF WORSHIP TO SAY THAT PEE PEE JOKES ARE GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE CONTINUED.

P's report card, P is doing pretty well. They have a unique sound, shape (even if it's spread out between both cases) and place. They are like a big sister to N. They hang around with them in some words, not making a peep. And for once, I am glad I can not subtract points for being silent in words all in all I give P a...

FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MAKE P. P. OR PEE PEE JOKES. OH WAIT, YOU WEREN'T DONE. PLEASE CONTINUE.

...B.

*Paranoid Paramedic jokes

** Toilet Paper

*** Paper Toilets

O

 H NO! (Just kidding) The weather is whipensnap.

A note of worship, We have brought you your food, your ultimate holy-ness. The, apple, broccoli, cannoli,  durian, egg (uncooked), figs, grapes, ham, ice cream, jalapeños, kale, lemons, marshmallows, naan, and oranges. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! There is a single speck of dust on the food! This is a bad omen of things to come. OoOOooOOOoOOOOoooooh.

The letter ladle, Hello, L is not here today so I, O, will be tasting the food. A pack of O's is (MUNCH) scrumptious, (SLURP) sweet, and (GULP) salty. Wait, the salty is just the D I ate. I meant the O is smooth. I squish it in my mouth and suck on the hard candy (YUM). Wait, that's the jawbreakers. Um, well, the banana's are delicious...

O's report card. O is a well rounded letter. There is some dispute over who the ooooo sound belongs to but I think that O deserves it. O has the same upper and lower case note however, but no one copies it's simple design. O is a vowel, which as you know gives them some credit. I think my final grade for O will be a B.

O's playground tasting room, I love the taste of everything. Today I am tasting the food argectolbleist. I think it tastes like a mashup of everything. I found that it tastes different, depending on where you suck. It is hard on one side, mushy on the other one. I think the sour part is the best as it blends with sweet. I think that it is strange but wonderful that the squishy and sweet part are the same.

N

 ormal post we make today (not!). The weather is coolinklow.

N's report card, We discussed some of N yesterday. They copy half of M's design and blah blah blah. In other news they have a completely original sound and I am forced to give them a C anyway. HMMMPH.

A Note of worship, OH NO! We are being invaded by the V worshippers! They are out to capture us to increase their rein for conquest against A. NO! Oh N! Your godly power has scared them away. We are even more in your debt. We now speak spiritual humming. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. OOOOOOHHH! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

The letter ladle, N is a salty letter. It isn't bad tasting once after another. I find it odd but welcome how the N is both slightly bumpy and smooth at the same time. I want more now. I'll wait. NNN Thank you for the platter of N's. NOM NOM NOM NOM! Aaaah. The N is quite (NOM) addictive and (NOM) good.

N's playground,* NOoOoooooooOOOOOOOO NOoOOOOOoOoO NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO No.** We are here at NNN (No Nitpicking News) to nitpick your clothes, and your hair, and your personality. NO! Fine, we just miss nitpicking so much. Lets go over to the NNNNNNN (National Nose Night Noting in Nine Notebooks News)...

* Everything after here is sung and the changing of capitalization is the changing of beats.

**Everything after here must be spoken in a silly voice. Just because. (No music.)

M

 arvelous (a lot of things)! The weather is fooshmirkle.

M's playground, The M-issary of this blog post decided to make a new brand, M! No, not m. M! is the newest funnest brand around. It's a brand of playground supplies for all letters. Here is some of our sets, :______-----____-____,         \___|. This are our specially developed slide. (____T____) And are spinny wheel. &======+ This is another slide, we call it the inverter.  /^\ This is our climbing structure, the Mad Mountain. We hope you have enjoyed just some of the many pieces of fun equipment we can put in your playground. See you later! @M!.playground.com.org

The letter ladle, an M is salty and sweet at the same time. It has a smooth texture and a nice after taste. M and N go well together despite them having no sound in common. I notice that this letter often gets stuck to L, N, and O. This event is quite delectable as the result is a nice sweet and bumpy food. I have one more thing to say about M. MMMMMMMM.

A moat of worship, We have been digging this moat of protection for days. Its ability to spit out torrential waves at non-worshippers of M is highly valued. When a worshipper gets through, they will find many rocks of stories that have past and blank rocks for stories yet to be told. We have even made a totem right at the edge of the moat where the water sprays up magnificently: /\/\. 

M's report card, M is a good sound. Not used anywhere else. They are very close to L, N, and O. I am afraid that they, trying to be a good big brother, let N have half their design in both forms. They are incredibly similar in both uppercase and lowercase. Especially lowercase. They even hang by while N makes a sound sometimes so that N isn't scared. Although I admire these acts I am afraid that this deducts many points from their grade. I, with a very heavy heart, am forced to give M a C. It's so unfair that I have to deduct points for being a good brother.

L

 ove making these. The weather is forstifus.

The letter ladle, how do I describe myself as a flavor? That sounds weird. I am L. I am talting an L today. Got it? An L is Lucious and sweet. It is smooth in texture and in taste. I may be somewhat biased but an L is the best thing i've ever tasted. It is liquid, rich, and ultimately filling. I could go on and on about the taste that so keenly helps the other letters even if it is hard to savor. Yes, I am kind, and generous (but not humble). And... I'm supposed to be talking about the taste amn't I.

L's playground. I would like to taste something entirely new for my post. I will taste a number! The 1 stands out immediately. It seems incredibly hard. At first, I can't bite into it. After I manage to do that though, the number does not get any better. A 1 seems so individual and bland. A number is so metallic compared to the nice and smooth taste of a letter. A 1 is bland other than the metallic tang and hard taste. I do not recommend it (except for health reasons, numbers are pretty healthy.)

A note of worship, I worship  the god of food and health, I worship the god of love. I praise to you L, I praise to you L, for all you do. In words everywhere. I play your song and read your books, I praise to you L. N matter whether it is light or dark, I praise to you. I will now perform a sacrifice, I will cut a roast chicken in half. HIIIIIIYAAAAAA! ROAST | CHICKEN.

L's report card, L is doing pretty well. They have a unique sound and good form, although their lowercase is similar to uppercase I, they have ways to be differentiated. They have no shady business going on which make me appreciate it more, even if it doesn't give them any official grade. I will give L an A!

K

 , I'll do the post. The weather is blisterblust.

A note of worship, Okay, Okay, i'll do it. Um... hello J I guess. *Yawn*. Oh, I mean K. Whatevvvvzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wuh? I'm awake. (Barely). I guess I should sacrifice this pillow for you now. {COTTON} I didn't do a very good job, did I. *Yawn*.

K's playground, Oh, K. What did you do now. I got stuck in a pit. I can see that, I'm asking a rhetorical question. Oh, kay. Don't worry, I've got something to get you out. I that an Oak A? Yes. Okae, will you really be able to get me out with that? Oh, K. I am sure of my abilities. As long as you're Okae Ess I will trust you. Yes, we are O. K.** we will get through this.

The letter ladle, A K is crisp and krunchy. I enjoy the burst of salt as I bite into it. It is hard but rewarding. I kan't get enough. With an n, the k completely disappears though. I like to eat my k's on a summer knight. K Oh! Ki kam kadding k's kto keverything know! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

K's report card, K is not the best letter. They let C copy them even though their sound really should belong to them. K is different from all other letters in form but it shows no individuality by itself. I find K a bit naughty, sneaking into other words and changing the meaning without changing the sound. I happen to know that N is it's accomplice on these occasions. I hear that K and N are great friends. I have no choice but to give K a D

*This not really a foot note. This is just empty space/ a yawn.

** Okae & K.

J

 oking around is what I do in these posts. The weather is decunny.

A note of worship, I am joyful for J! I am jealous of J. I am joking about my feelings for J. (I must include J in every sentence or J will get mad). I am trapped in this temple and J will only let me out if I worship them for a year. There are plenty of other people to worship J on purpose though, so I am not lonely. I am just sad. NO, NO, NO! I have to start my worship of J all over again.

The letter ladle, I jump for joy at a J! I swallow the energizing flavor and taste the bouncy texture. You can play with it! You can... what just happened? I forgot to tell you anything about J so i'll just take another one. I AM REALLY STOKED ABOUT J'S! THIS NEW BRAND WILL BE AW... Man, my headache is really bad. Eating usually helps. I'll eat another J... WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!

J's playground. I AM NOW IN CHARGE OF J'S PLAYGROUND. IT IS JUMPING TIME.   

              U      P     N

          J      M     I      G    TIME! I LOVE TO JUMP! JUMP! JUMP! I... What is going on? What am I doing in J's playground? I'm supposed to be in the letter ladle.

J's report card. J is a very energetic student but not necessarily a good one. Their lowercase and uppercase forms are almost identical and they let G have their sound sometimes. They mimic no other letters however. I will have to give J a D. 

A very un-energetic report for a very energetic letter.

I

 love making these posts. The weather is GKkkkicong

I's report card, I think I is doing okay. I has one unique sound even if Y sometimes copies it's other one. I is like lowercase l in uppercase and is very similar to it's lowercase form, i. I is a vowel which puts more credit in their favor. I must be given a B.

I note of worship, yes I note of worship. You not understand, you dumb. I note of worship for I. I, I worship you! Okay, I done. What I be written about next? I know! I be written about singing. *AHEM* I is a priest's note! (That is, I is a note written about I is meaning by a priest.)(1) BOOOO! BOOOO! BOOOO! Sincerely, the Priest.

The letter ladle, I is a delightfully sweet letter. Cold, like ice, and also smooth. Practically a dessert. I is good for warm summer days. When you eat an i, you feel the cold wash over your whole body, giving you a sense of self. I is always taking over the bush though, so other letters have trouble growing.

I's playground, I am very well thank you. That's incorrect grammar! THE CORRECT GRAMMAR OF I. Well, maybe it is. Are you talking about yourself or the letter I? If you are I, are you referring to yourself in the first or the third person? Well I am very confused (me, not the letter I). Maybe we can get this blog post over with and get on with our lives without worrying about this.

(1) Sing everything from *AHEM* to here.

H

 ilarious post I plan to make. The weather is crowliphs.

A note of worship. He is great, he is great, go, go H you make our fate. O god of pronouns. Why is it just god of pronouns? O god of heights. Nope. O god of all that is hilarious or happy. That works. You make me happy just being in your presence. I hope that makes up your time because I've got to go cheerlead now.

H's report card, H is a bit of a class clown sometimes but otherwise they're a good student. I forgot to mention (and I am so sorry c) that H and C can make a unique sound when working together. H does let W share it's sound sometimes but only when they're together. H has no copiers that function without them. H does make a separate sound with T. H is a unique looking letter uppercase and lowercase. I give H a B (I suppose I can accept colabs if it changes the sound).

H's playground, Hilarious! Hilly billy happy hero it's H! Who makes you so happy, it's H! Who do you think is really neat, who do you think deserves a treat, it's AaAaAaich. Hello and welcome to Aaaaaaich's playground! Today we have a mystery contestant. What is the first clue? "Who is it?" Hmmm, an odd clue to start with but that voice sounds familiar. "Why are we doing this?" I've got it! "How so fast?" I know you, we've been friends for a while. Give it up for DOUBLE-U! BWA BWABWA BWAAAAAA.

The letter ladle, H is a sweet letter, with an airy texture. It is a hot food none the less and I would recommend a nice glass of water after eating to cool your mouth down. It is somewhat spongey but not really bouncy a food. It is somehow both spongey and slippery if that makes any sense. I would recommend this food to any passing traveler in need of some questions.

G

oodness! I almost didn't do G! The weather is flourostino.

G's report card, G may copy J's sound but they do have one of their own. Perfectly unique in some fonts,  the lowercase is similar to q in others. G seems like an okay student to me. I give them a C.

A note of worship, WOOOHOOO! Another day for worshipping the greatest god on the planet! Come at me G. Give me your ray of god will. You start gods! We will now read the scroll of sunshine! GOOD/GODWILL All worshippers are required to say at least three words of kindness a day, all worshippers must plant trees every so often, all worshippers must pay some fruit to the alter if any bad words are said. Well I think that makes our point dam'n clear. *Gasp!* I said a bad word! The worst word their is! I will pay every grape I have for a month to repent for my mistake.

The letter ladle, slightly on the sour side but it sends a kick of energy my way every time. When paired with an n it normally sets off a salty taste. Whether before it or after the n. I spit out the pit, I savor the meaty texture (but not meat). I gulp it down and wash down the sour taste. G's are just great.

G's playground, We interrupt this blog post for a very important ad. G-whiz! The newest uh, what is it again? Well this new drink will get you whizzing! Watch your new toy whiz around yes it's G-WHIZ! The newest and greatest television brand. Yes it's G-WHIZ! Nothing can stand up to its great computing power. G-WHIZ! Wait, it's a kind of washing machine? Okay. It's G-WHIZ! Whizzing up your clothes with it's own special soap to get the perfect product. ;) (What do you mean it doesn't have a special soap! Or anything else special. Then why are we even selling it by golly!)

F

 abulous time to write. The weather is columphus

F's report card. Fantastic report! F is unique in shape but when p and h get together their sound can be mimicked. It falls in on the bad word crowd but I can't deduct grade for that. It only does one sound and needs other letters to really find footing but f can be more than one. It is my pleasure to give F a B.

The letter ladle. Sweet and soft, that is the f. Light and airy, that is the F. Spongey and smooth, that is the f.   No more words are required.

A note of worship, F     the people who doubt you the F    ing bastards. They are now match for your superior everything! You will take them by force and shove their heads to the grounds. We sacrificed twenty people this week,  l= I= |= 1= != l= I= |= 1= != l= I= |= 1= != l= I= |= 1= !=. They looked familiar but we still took... WHAT ARE YOU DOING! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. *sigh, why are my worshippers always so stupid*

F's playground F        F       F       ! F is definitely playing jumprope with their siblings and an exclamation point. Flying fireman fire fire for frozen fish. FffffffffffffffffffffF. "Just follow the line children." Faux foxes publish fakes in fax. Flash! Flash! Flash! Flash! What's all those flashes. It was just me saying the word flash. Oh. Phony phone phones phantom phlegm. Pharaohs photosyntheses phases. These are f-words right?

Sorry for all the bad lanquage! I dd non meen to spel things rong.

Fantastic day! -F

E

xcellent evening. The weather is koklor.

E's report card, They may be a vowel used in al larger chunk of the words in the english language yet they let y copy their sound, and that is not a good thing. They do have some original sounds though and I do encourage that. A wide range of sounds is good. Sometimes I see them sneaking down into words. Changing their sound and meaning without adding any of their own. This is very interesting behavior and although and can not deduct their grade from it I must say I frown down at this behavior. E is visually unique all the way through. I am unhappy to say that I can not give E full marks. I am forced to say that that E must get a B.

A note of worship, EEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! We hold up your mirror image to communicate from the opposite side. 3 we would like you to give us your blessing. We are lost and alone in this world and we need your screaming guidance. We need you to cut through the darkness for us for we are without light of our own. Help us, oh maker of many words. Help us in our hour of deepest need.

E's playground, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED. "The e-train is passing through." "E, needs to help me don't you see!" ------Ee? E's riding on a sled. EeEeEeEeEeE. "Phew, what a day for o to take a break. ...{EEEOOOO}.  "I am running out of e-jokes." "You mean online jokes? Just download some"

The letter ladle, "Eh, it's kind of bitter," is my first thoughts of e's. But I had just happened to pick a bad one. I had at first wondered what everyone liked about them but my next told me everything. It tasted salty yet smooth. The texture was like a cold drink, washing down my throat. It was a crisp flavor and it made me scream with joy. I then understood why the world so enjoyed using this delicious letter. Sometimes when cooking words, you can't taste the E you put in but you can tell it altered the word entirely word that is usually bit, I had in a bite! E can get a bit annoying after ten in a row but it's just so good to taste. I know it's already used a lot but it should be used even more.

D

 elightful day! The weather is backomp.

D's playground, Disastrous dilemma, diluted damp, dangling deer, all happening on D-day*. D-lightful evening someone says. "DELIGHTFUL!" Delia demands. "Drooping doors are delightful?!" "No, no," the person says with a dangerous shiver. "I mean there's a lot of D's so it is D-lightful." "Damn it all," is another persons comment. The dangerous dogwood begins door to door. Disaster dips down infinitely.

*Things that begin with D day

A note of worship. We lay down our door to your domain. We give you our every claim. We spin round to hide our shame. For this is your land in your rein. D! We sing about you. D! We go and shout to you. D! With you we don't need to be free. |)! l)! I)! D! WE CHANT YOUR NAME IN EVERY WAY WE KNOW! D! DuM dUm DuM dUm DuM dUm DuM.

D's report card, D definitely does not get a D. They are individual between lowercase and uppercase even if  they mirror b in lowercase. Their are many rumors, you know. Their sound is unrepeatable. They are distinct in almost every way and form. I go straight to the conclusion D is destined for an A!

The letter ladle, D is delicious. It's flavor changes in your mouth. One second you are sucking on something salty, the next something sweet. Spicy, sour, bitter, even umami! It has a texture kind of like bread. It's solid but the bite comes of so cleanly and like it has very suddenly broken apart. The flavor begins rolling across my tongue. I have no advice again eating d after d after d. D is just delightful.

The Lord Of The Sports

 Today, while we were hunting geocaches, my brother turned into Nolam. It started when he picked up a ball with kings shown on it from a lake. The kings made it obvious that this was the ball to rule them all. My brother immediately seemed possessive and refused to leave it somewhere where the owner might pick it up. It became apparent that this was some kind of parody of the Lord of the Rings.

I have no doubt* that the ball will drive Nolam crazy and have them become a legend at soccer. Only the one who beats their team could earn the ball but for a long time no one ever would. They would live apart from their family and grow hungry for fame and power. But one day, someone, perhaps nicknamed Sylvo Scabbins, will beat Nolam and get the ball which they will then use to beat the dragon league.

One day, Sylvo will unhappily leave the ball to their child, nicknamed Fibber Scabbins. The lord Sportdor corporation will want the ball to rule them all so Flaboff the coach** will send Fibber to the final battle in which the fiery eyes will completely obliterate it... oh, Norman returned home without the ball, guess i'll just have to scrap this whole post.

*Okay, some doubt.

** Their methods work like magic.

C

 reated another blog post for you! 

The weather is criffufle.

The letter ladle, The c is without a doubt crisp and slightly crunchy. It creates a loud snap as a bite into it. A salty letter, with just the barest hint of spiciness. This is not a food to gorge one after another, it is something to savor before eating another one if you must it two. It might be an overload of salt to do so though. The c is certainly not a crumbly food. The bite is clean and clear. The perfect food for a crisp day, or simply for a little snack.

A note of worship, C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C. We chant your name in reverence as your humble servants, we shall be at your command with a snap of your fingers. To we now dance the sacred ritual to your honor:

                                                                                                      CCCC

                                                                                             CCCC

                                                                                      CCC

                                                                               CCC

                                                                          CCC

                                                                         CCC

                                                                         CCC

                                                                             CCC

                                                                                  CCC

                                                                                          CCCC

                                                                                                   CCCC

If this dance displeased you, smite us in your honor.

C's report card, C is very quick at their work. That does not always work in their favor. They usually emit a sound that matches K's exactly. They and K are often seen in the same word although the words sound is not usually altered. C has also copied sounds off S, which also puts black marks on their overall grade. Their uppercase and lowercase are exactly the same, except for the size of course. They seem to have absolutely no reason to want to be in the language at all. I don't like to do this but I am forced to give C an F.

C's playground. Hey look, mister 24 carrot is walking by! "I sail out to the seven c's!" "isn't their only one C in the alphabet?" Calm carrots cannot corrode cobras coping cancer. CcCcCcC. "Look at all those waves in the seven c's!" "Oh, so that's what the seven c's are." CCCCCCCCCC "Do you hear a snake?" "Sounds more like a bunch of c's to me." SSSSSSSS "Okay, that is definitely a snake." C you later!

B

 ecause I am nice, I will make another letter post.

The weather is maravace.

A note of worship, Your boastfulness, we have set up 3 shrines to your honor, 13 l3 i3 I3 |3, but we are afraid none of them capture your true excellence. You are seen as a B-list god but we know you should rise to the top of the godly chain! We have prepared to honor you in you sacred playground

B's playground, b-yutiful b-s b-set upon b-vers. "A b-ting!" B-ming b-vers roar. The b-vers b-t b-s. The B-vers are then b-fuddled by the b-s b-yuty. B-cause B bemanbs it the D's turn to b's. A b-ker of b-s is poured upon B-ker. B-ts b-lay up a mountain. B-fore we finish we apologize for all the missing letters.

B's report card, b is a wonderful individual in uppercase although in lower case they keep mirroring d (rumors say they share a bed). They have a unique sound of which no other letter can duplicate. They can be mistaken for a few words such as be and bee. Although it gets a little energetic with two b's I will avoid using b as a grade because this letter deserves an A.

The letter ladle. I savor the warm, smooth, creamy, sweet, flavor of a nice, fresh, B. It fills my every tastebud with it's rich flavor. It moves in my mouth like soft waves. If it were had with other letters this warm and heavy food would quickly pick up and and lightly carry. It is one of those foods that you only taste once you bite into it however, if you suck then the flavor might take its time getting to you. When I put two b's together the flavor gains a bounce to it. Like two different flavors of chocolate in your mouth at the same time. B is just a beautiful letter.

A

 nice day to do my first A-Z blog post. The weather is frizet.

A note of worship: WE ARE NOW SACRIFICING THIS UNWORTHY PRETENDER TO A'S THRONE. We sacrifice the one who disguised as you by turning upside down. We saw through the disguise immediately and now we cut the pretender in half:    \  /. We hope the blood of this v is sufficient for your godly needs.

A's report card: This letter fits in perfectly with the english language. It makes a clear sound and copies no other letters in sound. It's appearance copies an upside-down V however. It looks entirely different in uppercase and lowercase format. It has even gained the accomplished position of a vowel. A lot of words depend on them to keep them together. All in all I give A, well, an A (We got rid of plusses and minuses, this isn't a math school). 

The letter ladle: As I bite into an A, I first think of an apple. The amazing juice dribbles down my chin. I the savor sweet and mellow flavor of the vowel. A is the first fruit to fall off the tree and as I catch it I think how it feels cool in my palm. I weigh it and it feels light both in the hand and in the mouth. Someone should make A pie. It would taste delicious.

A's playground: A is the beginning of anagrams and a ram nags. A also always appreciates alliteration. I like A pie, A man the superhero, and A tower. A   -o           a. A always plays with their children. Just rolling the ball along until they're ready. A is definitely A fun guy.

An A-Z challenge!

Weather: Slormph

Today I have decided to start my own A-Z  fun! The one I have linked to happened a long time ago but you should still check it out. But, one big difference from those old posts, and my new ones. Those cowards decided to do a blog starting with the letter of the day rather than just talking about the letter. This is a hideous offense to the letters and I decided to take a stand for it. I will be worshipping, commenting, critiquing the taste of, and playing with, every letter of the alphabet, starting today.

In other news I will also start saying a made up word for the current weather at the beginning of the post.

This Freaking L Dialed The Ronnies

 Today, I accidentally left for school when there was no school. The school was closed due to the weather. My dad had not received the message and he sent me to school without knowing this. I had to grapple over what boots to use since I didn't want to get my sneakers wet. I thought that one pair of boots were mine but they were way too small. I eventually found the right pair of boots and started walking but in the middle of my walk, mom drove up and picked me up. We saw the message. It had a some stuff about how today would be a snow day but at the end... This freaking L dialed the Ronnies. In the recording, it was not spanish. It was just, This freaking L dialed the Ronnies. Any ideas as to why people? This has been... my first post with words. WOOOOOOOO!